Bite Me Life #1

Is anyone else out there as frustrated as I am by modern life and the things that are supposed to make it easier, better, sexier, and more fulfilling? Just on a small note: making rice tonight for stir-fried bay scallops with Asian sauce, I stuggled to open the damned rice. What happened to the good old bags which you opened and then fastened with a twist-em? But no! Some suits in a dimly-lit office decided to do away with a perfectly good system and substitute something meant to be an improvement. Now it has a slide-em opener and closer. You know how it goes: You seize the rice bag firmly in your left hand, get a grip on the scissors (rather dull), and cut away at the rice bag. Try and open it. Nope! Cut again, lower, and still no result. By now I am beginning to sweat and wishing I knew some wild Croatian swear words which which would insult the parentage of this particular rice bag. Finally, in a sweaty rush, I pull open the rice bag and grains scatter onto the floor. The mad Jack Russell terrier appreciates this and cleans them up. Then I try and close the bag again. No score. Nada. Get out that green twist-em and whip the bag into shape, stick it into the closet, and pour myself a glass of chilled Chardonnay.
It's just that I feel I have failed--not majorly--but still failed in mastering rice bags. I think life is hard enough--what with growing kids, in-laws, various insane relatives, cars which spew carbon, houses which slump when I am not looking, not to say my retirement fund and the need to pay for college education. Do I NEED to worry about my prowress with a rice bag? I ask you.